runyonsrealestaterag

Just another WordPress.com site

  • About

Future Planning

Posted by runyon's real estate rag on January 3, 2012
Posted in: 1031 Tax Deferred Exchanges, Financial Planning, humor, Real Estate. Leave a comment
two hands holding a glowing crystal ball

Buy more lottery tickets!

A friend of mine wants me to see her financial advisor. She thinks every move I make is a mistake. This inspires a lot of confidence in me; but I try to be humble. I know what her advisor will tell me, “Move to Detroit and camp out in an abandoned building. If you aren’t arrested or forced to move because the building is to be bulldozed in order to plant turnips, you might be able to get by on your Social Security.”

I explained to her more than once that I might be ready to do this next year, but for now I’d like to struggle and worry in sunny, smogless Santa Cruz. I think of myself as a concept person. I admit that for the last couple of years my concepts haven’t been very profitable, but not for my lack of trying. Before the current financial crisis I owned several rental properties, had equity, a decent commissioned income selling real estate and a plan. Then the crash happened. I hocked my house to stay afloat. My income plummeted. My equity vanished. The IRS changed the rules about investment property. My plans went south, and not to Florida for the winter.

 IRS rules currently allow you to sell your primary residence and exempt tax on the gain: $250,000., if single, $500,000., if married. Investment property may be exchanged in order to defer taxes on the gain. If you sell, you pay the tax. No exemptions. A few years ago you could move into your investment property and make it your primary residence. If you lived there the required two years, when you sold the property you could take the exemption for your primary residence. This rental-to-primary-residence scenario was part of my master plan. It was how I could turn equity into cash for my old age. Other people used this formula. The IRS didn’t like this because they want the money, so they changed the rule.

 The new rule: If an investment property is converted to a primary residence, the length of time it was a rental and the length of time it is your primary residence determines the tax consequence when you sell. If you’ve owned a rental eight years, move into it for two and then sell it, eighty per cent of the gain will be attributed to income property and twenty per cent to your primary residence. This may be a fair rule, but it left me dangling on a string. No net. No golden parachute.

 I no longer have equity in my house or much in my “income property,” which never provided income. The expenses were always greater. When I sell my house, the IRS will get any money left after cost of sale. My only hope is to trade my four-plex, which is a legal duplex (that’s a future blog,) into the condominium downtown, where I would eventually like to live. I’ll get an adjustable mortgage, instead of a thirty year fixed rate loan, because the interest is lower and fixed for seven years. It’s the only way I can afford the payments. It’s a temporary solution, a seven year solution. It’s all I can do today.

 I’m resisting, rebelling against all practical information and financial planning. I’m punting. “Let them eat cake,” said Marie Antoinette about us 99%. But I want to “have my cake and eat it too.” I will stay in Santa Cruz until dementia solves my dilemma and I won’t care where I live. Then I’ll pack my stuff in a Safeway shopping cart and head for Detroit.

Lindsay and Me

Posted by runyon's real estate rag on December 22, 2011
Posted in: Celebrities, humor, Real Estate. Leave a comment
lindsay lohan on cover of Playboy

Lindsay Lohan on cover of Playboy

Lindsay and Me 

Lindsay Lohan is a lot like me. She keeps doing stupid things. She lost a Chanel bag carrying ten thousand dollars in cash. I have been paying thirty-six dollars for my computer line every month for fifteen years. This became unnecessary when the office installed DSL thirteen years ago. That amounts to about fifty-six hundred, or five thousand, six hundred dollars that I have paid by mistake. I’m sure Lindsay would grok. For you texters that’s short for empathize.

Now you might ask, “Why?” I ask that too. Did someone forget to tell me I no longer needed this? I am quite certain that if someone had told me I no longer needed to pay thirty-six dollars for my personal computer line every month, I would have cancelled the service. But no one told me. Maybe I was on vacation or missed the office meeting when the DSL announcement was made. I’m going to call Lindsay for her advice. Her Chanel bag was found but the money was missing. I’m sure she’ll have some good ideas about how to get reimbursed for tragic errors.

Unfortunately, I am not like Lindsay. I don’t get paid bazillions to act, sing, look gorgeous, get DUIs and pose for Playboy. Pity. If I looked like her, I would. At sixty-three, it’s unlikely. But if she keeps making stupid mistakes, like me, she’ll age quicker than I did. I was a child of the sixties. Times are faster now.

My advice to Linday: “Slow down honey. Stash that cash in something besides your Chanel bag. Look out for the 2-much-fun-stuff. It can clobber you. Keep breathing and call me when you want to buy a house. We have a lot in common.”

Christmas Bloopers

Posted by runyon's real estate rag on December 15, 2011
Posted in: Architecture, Christmas Gifts, golf, humor. Leave a comment

    

two wrapped christmas gifts

The perfect Gift

There’s always one person who’s really hard to shop for. In my case it’s my sister’s husband, Matthew. No matter what clever idea I come up with, it’s wrong.

     Take our first Christmas…He and my sister, Cynthia, were married in October. He’s a good golfer and a successful commercial architect. That’s all I know. I go shopping. I wind up in Bookshop Santa Cruz. I spy the perfect gift! It’s a coffee-table book about miniature golf courses with an astro-turf cover. This covers two of his interests, design and golf. I gloated all the way home.

     At the very same moment I am handing the shop-girl my credit card Matthew and Cynthia are browsing in their Petaluma bookstore. Matthew sees the same book and whispers to my sister, “What idiot would buy that?”

     When he opened my gift he acted immensely pleased. I was quite proud of myself. Later my sister told me his real opinion.

     The next year Cynthia suggested socks. I ask Cynthia what kind of socks Matthew liked. She said, “Gray.”

     Terrific I thought. I’ll buy him a dozen pair of gray socks, wooly ones, silk ones, fuzzy ones, dark gray, light gray, long, short. I couldn’t go wrong. Wrong. He likes one specific kind of gray socks, one particular brand, same length, cotton with a little lycra. When he opened the gift, he acted delighted. Cynthia told me he gave them all away.

     Maybe that’s the way it is with socks. Years ago, Graham, the four-year-old son of my friend, Patty, got a pair of socks for Christmas. He looked at the socks and said, “Mommy, what could they have been thinking?”

     I toured Santa Cruz Artists Open Studios one fall and found these great carvings byDr. Geoffry Gerstein, a retired surgeon. Some of them were faces carved on golf balls. Good gift for Matthew. I bought two, one a paperweight, the other a walking cane, complete with carved golf ball head for the handle.

     I visited them for Christmas. I showed the paperweight to Cynthia. “Don’t show that to Matthew!” she warned, “He would not be amused.” I slunk back to the guesthouse and buried it in my suitcase. I bought him a six-pack of vinegar.

     Before I left for home I pulled the paperweight out of my suitcase and left it on the nightstand next to my bed.

     Come to think of it, my sister isn’t the easiest person to shop for either. Annie Morehouser created Annie Glass in Santa Cruz. In the early days I found “seconds” in Squid Alley, next to Goodwill.  Annie Glass is now famous. Signed “firsts” are sold in stores like Gumps. Matthew likes silver. I figured they would love the platinum-rimmed plates. Annie Glass was good for a few years. Then my sister said, “Don’t give us any more. We’ve got it coming out our ears. And no more coffee-table items either. We have too much stuff.”

     I decided to give them massages. They don’t have to find a place for them; store, dust, water or feed them. They can enjoy it for what it is: a pleasurable, pampering moment. So far, no complaints.

     The only thing is…I still have the cane with the carved face on the golf ball that I got years ago for Matthew at Open Studios. I’ve decided to wrap it up and send it to him for his Aquarius birthday along with a crate of lemons. As you can see and Santa surely knows…I’m bad, bad…very, very bad.

     HAPPY HOLIDAZE !

GLAMOUR GARDEN DOs and DON’T’s

Posted by runyon's real estate rag on December 6, 2011
Posted in: Curb Appeal, Gardens, home value, humor, Real Estate. 3 Comments

Like Glamour Magazine’s Fashion DOs and DON’Ts, Gardens are DOs and DON’Ts too.

Gardens I pass in my travels:

GARDEN DOs:

DO: Glorious red/orange Maple and well designed fence.

DO: Grand grasses glowing and blowing in the wind.

DO: Grasses and native plants are drought resistant and save water!

GLAMOUR DON’Ts:

House eating juniper or juniper eating house.

Fence eating juniper or juniper eating fence.

Just don’t juniper!

WHY?

DOs and DON’Ts:

BOUGAINVILLEA:

Beautiful!

DON’T let the trunk or a stem climb behind a drain pipe. It will grow larger and there goes your drain pipe!

 DO: Try a trellis.

DO or DON’T?

ESPALIER TREATMENT OF TREE

Love the espalier, but it’s growing over a window. DO or DON’T?

“Let the sunshine in. Let the sunshine in. Let the sun shine in!” (From the musical, Hair.)

Guess what I think?

Keep Santa Cruz Artistic!

Posted by runyon's real estate rag on December 1, 2011
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment
First Friday Art Tour Logo
Santa Cruz is ARTISTIC and weird!

Santa Cruz is artistic in addition to being weird. On Wednesday, November 30th, The Atlantic Magazine ranked Santa Cruz and Watsonville No 5 on a list of the Most Artistic Cities in America.

We knew this. Now everybody does. We tried to keep it quiet, but word is out.
 
Support our local artists and the arts. First Friday Art Tour happens the first Friday of the month. Many venues are open displaying art,  featuring music, performances, pouring wine and serving food. Take part in this fun local cultural event.
Art Hang is happening at the Tannery. Steve Laufer is showing photos and slides at Motiv. According to Robbie Schoen,  from the Felix Kulpa Gallery, fine NEON will be on display there. The Blitzer Gallery has an oceanic theme.
Bundle up and art party hardy!

The Great Morgani says, “Shop Local!”

Posted by runyon's real estate rag on December 1, 2011
Posted in: humor. Leave a comment
 

T’was the month before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even the louse that won’t shop until the night before Christmas, causing shop owners to tear their hair out and skewed statistics about poor consumer spending and the economy stalling.

Thanksgiving morning I browsed through the Santa Cruz Sentinel Gift Guide. I made a long list of the great goodies I’d like people to get me. I have A, B and C lists. If you give me a hint of your plan for me, I’ll know the price range for your gift…or not.

Chocolate is always good. A gift certificate for Chicken mole, a glass of Pinot Grigio, a hot fudge Sunday, yummy truffles and a cup of thick hot cocoa, the Sofia, at Chocolate, in Santa Cruz, will do just fine.

Since you’re right next to Bookshop Santa Cruz, you might step inside and squeeze a few books in your bag for me. Something by a local author perhaps. Hardbacks are acceptable. I might read them twice or re-gift them.

As the in-crowd knows, I love to chew, not chop garlic. Big Bucks gift certificates for Soif, Gabriella’s and Ristorante Avanti are always appreciated. Don’t limit yourself to just one. Three is not a crowd!

I like to drink my carbohydrates. Vino Cruz, right by MAH, is a super place to taste and buy wine. I prefer whites: Hunter Hill’s Sauvignon Blanc, Bargetto’s Pinot Grigio. I’m less familiar with reds, but Silver Mountain has a mean Alloy and Salamandre’s Primitivo is delicious.  

No time to winery hop? Shopper’s Corner has a fine selection. I can always leave a list of my favorites there. Groceries and gifts, one-stop-shopping. What a concept! Shopper’s is close to The Buttery (don’t skimp on the pecan sandies,) and the Chardonnay office for sailing tickets.

The Artisan’s Co-op has a plethora of items to choose from. You can go wild. I don’t mind. My friend, Home Stager, Patti Brady says, “Less is more.” I say, “More is more.” Remember, I can always re-gift.

Many Hands Gallery is a place where I drool a lot. Go there and treat your eyes. Just avoid the soggy spots on the carpet! I love Cheri Lewis’s playful jewelry line, Mama’s Little Babies.

Annie Glass is perfect because I’m so special.

Nothing wrong with gold. Diamonds are friendly. Aptos Jewelers, in the Rancho Del Mar Shopping Center has gems to choose from. Speaking of Aptos, The Café Sparrow is one of my favorite rural restaurants. Don’t be shy. I’m a big eater.

A  month of yoga classes with Jazzercise’s Abbi Hartsell at the Seabright roller-rink is a moving idea. She makes me work my abs off to deserve calories. She held a class Thanksgiving  morning, asked for five dollar donations. All proceeds go to the 2nd Harvest Food Bank. Good for the Food Bank. Good for me.

As long as we’re being heart-warming, don’t forget hand-dipped candles from the Homeless Garden Store, same location as last year, across from the Rittenhouse building on Pacific Avenue.

Facials, a massage, hair cut, manicure, pedicure are all welcome. As are gardening, house cleaning, a chef for a year. Tickets to the Nickelodeon, Del Mar Theater, Rio Theater and Kuumbwa are hits. Soaps from Bonny Doon Farm make great stocking stuffers. My knee socks will hold about a dozen, well….my thigh socks.

I love local art. My walls have space for anything by Glenn Carter. Stop by my office to get a sense of my taste: Stacy Frank, D. Hooker, Wendy Aiken, Aaron Johnson, Bridget Henry, wire sculpture by Wendy Ballen, just to name a few. Use your Open Studios Catalog/Calendar for their contact information, or call me. I will gladly supply addresses, directions and suggestions.

Not on my list: A bicycle tire repair kit, rakes, shovels or gardening gloves, cutlery, cookbooks or dust buster. No toothbrushes. I get them from my dentist for free. And- No fruitcake!

Thinking. Thinking. On third thought, no need to be anal about this shop local business.  I’m going to need a new dishwasher, washer and dryer in the near future. Exceptions can be made for shopping at big box stores for gifts like these. Besides, we do have a local Sears and Best Buy. Major appliances are definitely on my A list.

Well folks, you get the idea. This should get you started. If you get stumped, call me. I’m always willing to help.

Great Morgani in Shop Local Ad

Shop Local!

 

No Zillowing!

Posted by runyon's real estate rag on November 22, 2011
Posted in: home value, humor, Real Estate. 2 Comments

image of zillow logo with a red circle slash

Google and giggle but don’t zillow. I suspect Zillow is a front for drug companies. I zillow my house and bingo, I need a Xanax. Have you seen anyone observing your house lately, texting? Aiming their iphone at su casa? Has anyone called you to look at the interior? If your answer to any of these questions is yes, and you’re not trying to obtain a loan or refinance, chances are your abode is being cased by a burglar for a future visit. Real appraisers call you for an appointment, look inside and out, measure and take notes.

They say, “Hello,” or “Good Morning,” or “Jeesh, I couldn’t even Map Quest this place!”

Do you think Zillow sends out little zillowees to get as much information about your property as they can without contacting you? More likely they put a lot of beans in a very large jar and guess the number. This becomes the value of your house. Or the Wizard of Oz, badly in need of employment, analyzes information and comes up with a figure. They could ask your next door neighbor and find out that your house is worth gazillions. Who knows what they do and frankly, who cares?

Their claims are often incorrect. I hear Zillow this and Zillow that. If it’s on the internet, TV or in print it must be true, correct? If you want to be well informed, read the National Inquirer. For real estate news and information, consider the source. Do you personally know anyone at Zillow? Do you know what their credentials are? Would you like me to perform brain surgery on you next week? I can assure you, I’m highly qualified. Just ask me. I’ve read a few books and articles on-line. I can do anything. Call me for the value of your house, while I finish suturing. I can multi-task.

Market value, constantly changing, is what a willing buyer pays a willing seller. For an educated guess, call me. I’ll stop suturing and actually visit your property. I’ve been selling real estate in Santa Cruz County for thirty-five years. My opinion is free but it’s worth more than Zillow’s.

What’s my house worth?

Posts navigation

Newer Entries →
  • Recent Posts

    • The Neighborhood Wacko
    • Hoarder’s House
    • Real Estate and Facelifts
    • Real Estate and Staying In Touch
    • Runyon’s Revenge Continued
  • Archives

    • February 2014
    • April 2012
    • March 2012
    • February 2012
    • January 2012
    • December 2011
    • November 2011
  • Categories

    • 1031 Tax Deferred Exchanges
    • Age
    • Antiques
    • Architecture
    • Buyers
    • Car racing
    • Castles
    • Celebrities
    • Christmas Gifts
    • Condos
    • Curb Appeal
    • Dogs
    • Financial Planning
    • Gardens
    • golf
    • heirs an omissions
    • hoarders
    • home staging
    • home value
    • hookers
    • house cleaning
    • humor
    • Mavericks
    • neighborhood wacko
    • Networking
    • ocean view
    • pets
    • Real Estate
    • respect
    • Rest In Peace
    • revenge
    • Santa Cruz
    • schizophrenic
    • sellers
    • Socializing
    • Sphere of Influence
    • stuff
    • toxic waste
    • Uncategorized
    • vacation
    • Xanax
  • Meta

    • Register
    • Log in
    • Entries feed
    • Comments feed
    • WordPress.com
Blog at WordPress.com.
  • Follow Following
    • runyonsrealestaterag
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • runyonsrealestaterag
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...