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All posts for the month April, 2012

Real Estate and Facelifts

Posted by runyon's real estate rag on April 12, 2012
Posted in: Age, Buyers, humor, Real Estate, respect, sellers. Leave a comment

OMG!

I admit it. The photograph on my business card was taken in 1995. I got away with it for awhile. Now I see people squinting at the picture and peering at me to confirm that we are the same person.

I held an open house one Sunday. A younger man came in. He kept looking around and sneaking glances at me. After about ten minutes of this I realized he was not there to buy real estate, but to meet the lady whose picture is on the card and in my ads. I smiled at him, pointed to the photo on my card and said, “I’m her mother.”

We go to great lengths to improve our appearance. Today everyone wants to look and be younger than we are! I was in a women’s book club. The subject of facelifts came up. I said “If I could afford it, I’d get one.”

They all exclaimed, “We want to be appreciated for our brains.”

I answered, “Yes, and we all dye our hair too. A facelift is just another procedure in the Mirror, Mirror on the wall fantasy.”

My sister is staying with me for a couple of weeks while she looks for a job in the bay area.
She lives in North Carolina, can’t find her line of work there, and is a California girl at heart.
She says, “The people interviewing me are young enough to be my children. Who’s going
to hire an old lady?”

“Experienced, mature, not old,” I say.

“Yeah, yeah,” she mumbles. “Why don’t you get a new photo?”

“Gravity.” I respond. “Everything droops. I want people to think I’m perky and energetic.”

“What about when you show up?” she asks.

“Hopefully I win them over with my brilliance.” I drawl. “Look, doesn’t this look better?” I face her and pull my cheek skin back toward my ears.

“You’ve got a point,” she says. “What’s the name of that plastic surgeon? Maybe we can get a Group-On thing going.”

I must update my photo in the near future; truth in advertising. I don’t want people friending me on Facebook because they want to date me. I want them to buy a house! On the other hand, I want them to to call me. I think to myself, “buy more lotto tickets.” In the meantime, that old photo is cheaper than a face lift.

Real Estate and Staying In Touch

Posted by runyon's real estate rag on April 10, 2012
Posted in: Buyers, Car racing, Dogs, humor, Networking, Real Estate, Rest In Peace, sellers, Socializing, Sphere of Influence, Uncategorized. Leave a comment

Rest In Peace

Realtors are supposed to stay in touch with clients, friends and the grocer on a regular basis to remind them what they do and that they welcome business. We’re supposed to network and prospect all the time. Sounds simple. You try it.

I  run to Shopper’s Corner in sweats and an old t-shirt for garbanzo beans I need for the dinner I’ve planned for guests coming that evening. I don’t want to run into the lady I’m showing houses to tomorrow. She’s there buying bananas, what am I supposed to do? Hide in the peanut butter aisle until she leaves the store?

I’m tired and cranky at the end of the day. My feet hurt. My eyeliner has worn off. I don’t feel up to a chamber mixer and being on. Do I go or not?

I read that if you give a gift to someone every day, you’ll feel better. I bought a book, The Art of Racing in the Rain, in December for a friend. It’s about life and wisdom, a man whose hobby is racing cars, his family and his dog, Enzo. It’s cleverly written from Enzo’s point of view. My friend races Porsches, loves his wife and their golden retriever. The book is perfect for him. It was not supposed to be an official Christmas gift, just casual; no exchange obligation attached. I intended to drop it off at their house during my property viewing rounds. I don’t want to stop by on my way home from work, too close to dinner time and possibly inconvenient and rude. When I have a few spare moments, I sail past their street absorbed by the ten other tasks I need to accomplish, or I just forget. It’s April and the book is still on the backseat of my car.

Where does our business life end and our personal one begin? Or do they just blend? When it comes to prospecting, socializing and our “sphere of influence” is more important than advertising. Networking is more effective than nose-to-the-grindstone. For most people, it’s more fun. Occasionally my mood is too foul to do either. It’s better for me to hermit in my cave.

I’ve decided to send a postcard to the people I don’t want to work with any more. It’ll say, “Kathy died.” If you don’t receive one of these, call me for all your real estate needs!

Runyon’s Revenge Continued

Posted by runyon's real estate rag on April 5, 2012
Posted in: Buyers, Castles, heirs an omissions, home staging, home value, humor, Real Estate, revenge, sellers, stuff. 6 Comments

Take that!

Gaga couldn’t make it again….so here I am.

I don’t sing and I don’t dance. I hawk houses.

I don’t kiss and tell….I close escrows and tell!

I recently helped friends move from their country property to a condominium near the beach, which they’d wanted to do for twenty years. They wanted to take their old property taxes with them since they’ll save about five thousand dollars a year. This is possible under California Proposition 60, which allows a once in a lifetime transfer of property taxes, if the seller is fifty-five years of age or older and buys a less expensive primary residence than the one he/she sells. Contact me for details about this.

My friends spied a place and called me on New Year’s Day to show it to them. We looked. They salivated. They zillowed the value of their house and became very depressed. I told them that Zillow is useless and that we could do better than that.

The beach property was owned by four heirs, living in different parts of the globe: London, San Francisco, New York and Bangkok. They had recently inherited the property and owned it free and clear. Over priced, it had been on the market a year. They reduced the price one hundred thousand dollars and my friends decided to go for it.

We wrote up an offer contingent on the sale of their property. It was accepted and we went to work. My friends did everything I recommended, cleaned up twenty years of family life in a weekend. The house looked great.

We put it on the market, quickly received two offers that were substantially higher than the Zillow zestimate. They accepted the best one.

Both escrows proceeded smoothly. All parties removed contingencies and looked for loan documents to arrive at the title company. My client’s papers came. They signed off, deposited their down payment and were ready to close. Their buyers experienced a delay due to who-knows-what and lots of excuses from their lender. We had to extend the closing date for both escrows.

My clients had a weekend garage sale, got rid stuff that filled their basement, including beds and a dining table that they hated, but used. Their house began to resemble a campsite as we all waited not-so-patiently for their buyers’ papers to arrive.

Anxious to move into their new beach home, they got permission to install new carpets in the property they didn’t yet own. Worse case, if the escrows didn’t close, the condominium sellers would have new carpet.

Delay after delay occurred. The lender excuses were really lame. Finally the papers arrived and were signed. My client’s country house closed on Friday. Their loan funded. Their down payment was in the title company’s account. Escrow was to close on Monday.

They requested permission from the sellers to move into the property over the weekend. The sellers decided that they would have to pay $150. rent per day to take early possession. Remember, this was an unencumbered, inherited property that had been on the market over a year…. I couldn’t even bring the subject up to my clients. I paid the two days rent.

Escrow closed. My buyers are delighted with their new beach home. I’m relieved and happy. I wrote the rent check to the heirs and made the check payable to all of the siblings, so the check would have to be sent around the world for each of their signatures for three hundred dollars. On the line describing what the check was for I wrote, “Petty cash.”